I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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