I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
