Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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