oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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