I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
