So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
