hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
