Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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