bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize