I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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