By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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