When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
