Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
