It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
