is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
