U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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