we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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