I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am never drinking with the goths again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
