He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
