she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
