Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
