Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
