Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
