What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
