Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
