The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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