I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
