we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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