I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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