Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
