Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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