I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
