ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
