Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
