I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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