yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
