The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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