There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
