i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
