we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize