dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
