I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
