dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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