Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
