Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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