So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
