I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
