I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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