theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
