All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
