Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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