youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
