I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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