so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
