I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
