dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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