The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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