he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
