Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
